Blig Bog

I found a new recipe I like on the show Diet Tribe (Lifetime).  It's basically Fried Chicken, but healthier.  Use Chicken Breast Tenderloins, dip them in milk and season them (pepper, salt, or seasoning salt) and then cover in crushed up Corn Flakes.  Put them in the oven at 400 degrees for 45 minutes.  Even James liked them!  It's crispy and crunchy, as if you're eating the most delicious, unhealthy KFC.




James and I just got back from Texas, visiting grad schools.  I had steak last night at Black Eyed Pea.  Black Eyed Pea used to be where P.F. Changs is now.  It was delicious.  I had a salad for lunch.  It was...a salad.




I think I over exerted my body Saturday morning.  I did Jillian Michaels Friday night AND Saturday morning and couldn't walk late Saturday night or Sunday.  My legs are feeling better today but I think I need to go further in between workouts.




I'm having a workout party tomorrow night, which I'm really excited about.  I should be good to go by then for working out again.

Helplessly Hoping for a Change

*This isn't encouraging- I'm sorry in advance.  I'm just trying to be honest.  These are my thoughts.  Here we go.  This was written with tears.*






I can't get my life together.




I feel like I can't control this.





I'm not who God wants me to be.
I'm not who my husband needs me to be.
I'm not who I need to be for my friends and family.






And it's my fault.  It's my body.  I have the power to change it.  And I don't.  It's the root of all of my problems.  I know exactly how to fix this, and yet, I don't.






Somewhere along the way, something happened.  But I don't care.  I got to college, I stopped caring, and therefore I destroyed my body in the process.  I was burned enough that I didn't have the decency or self-respect to do what I need to do to be the best version of myself.





I'm mediocre.  I don't perform to the best of my ability.  Have I hit my peak?





I've let deceit take over my weight loss and I've cheated myself.  I've cheated everyone around me who have done nothing but support me.





I'm a failure at doing the right thing and losing weight like I know I can.  I've lost weight before.  What's wrong with me now?






I don't deserve the more-than-daily encouragement and accountability I've been receiving for free, because I just ignore it.  I take it for granted.  I've taken all of you for granted, and I'm sorry.  I'm very sorry.






I feel like my weight problems are linked to my psyche.  It's like, no matter what I do, no matter how many people I hurt, I still make bad decisions.  Who DOES that?




I don't know where to go from here.






I'm wasting my wonderful life away because I can't be honest with myself, work hard, and commit to something.

Do Not Walk This Way for You Will Surely Be Subject to Peer Pressure by a Bag of M&Ms

Today I walked away from a free, delicious bag of M&Ms.  
























A very persuasive bag of M&Ms.













Just say no to obesity, children.

Just Write Down Johnny Applehead and Be Done With It!

Today at Steelman, I was down 4 pounds from Friday!  This counts me down 9 pounds from the starting weight.  I'm going to do much better this week too.  I (once again) am stepping up my exercise.  I did 30 minutes on the stationary bike yesterday while watching The Godfather, and I did about 45 minutes of exercise today- a combination of walking and WiiFitting.










In other news, my wedding photographer has finally (just about) finished with pictures!!!!!  There's a sneak peek on her website: Sneak Peek!  The cds will come in tomorrow (hopefully) with over 650 pictures to look at.  I'm very excited.  We'll have a picture-viewing extravaganza at my parents' house probably tomorrow evening.  Everyone is invited!  








Of course, you all may not care about this kind of thing.  I'm psyched!










James and I walked at Lake Hefner today.  I STILL wish I had a bike, as I've been asking for one for Christmas and birthdays since college started.  I really want to be riding a bicycle around.  Sigh.










I'm really hoping my senior recital can be in February.  IF I can get it done that early, then I can do the opera (in Dr. Adams' dreams...)  But seriously, I'd like to be in the cast this year if I can finish my recital up.  Here's what the repertoire is looking like so far:








Sonata in A Flat Major K. 127 L. 186- Scarlatti


Sonata in F Major K. 332- Mozart (all 3 movements)


Nocturne in F Minor Op. 55 No. 1- Chopin


Mazurka ______-Chopin (I can't think of the opus# off the top of my head)


Étude Op. 10, No. 12  (Revolutionary)- Chopin

Rhapsody in Blue- Gershwin

Vocal Jazz- TBA

Grad-school is stressing me out.  If anyone has any advice, PLEASE send it my way.  I'm new at this!

Fhatsody in Blue

I used one of James's titles for today's blog.







As usual, I'm exhausted.



I just got through playing the Spooktacular concert with the Oklahoma Community Orchestra.  I played organ and piano on the Phantom of the Opera medley.  It was an excellent concert and I loved all of the music!  Judd Theater was PACKED with people standing on both sides!  I love when lots of people come to hear classical music.  It calms my soul to know that the arts is somewhat thriving where I live!




I cheated a couple of times on my diet this weekend but I'm back on track.  AGAIN, I'm going to re-commit to my working-out (and my diet for that matter), as I feel it helps me a lot.





I suppose commitment has to be about every individual day.  A DAILY commitment to do my best.  That's important in weight loss.  One.   Day.   At.   A.   Time.




That said, tomorrow is going to be GREAT!  Thank you GOD for tomorrows!



I felt fat today.  In this blue shirt.  I'm tired of feeling fat.  I feel like I want to hide on days like that.  When I feel fat, I don't want anyone to see me or talk to me- even my close friends or family.  It makes life difficult.  Somedays, it's just hard to put on the confidence and know that I have a BRILLIANT personality and lots of friends.  I just feel.  Fat.  Put a brown bag over my head, someone, please.




In other news, as James and I were driving to the library this afternoon, a bee entered the car.





I was driving.





You can imagine, I'm sure, the chaos that ensued.  I stayed relatively calm until Bee-lezebub flew up front and LANDED ON MY HAND!




My sub-conscious instantly reacted with flailing and screaming, I slammed on the brakes (unknowingly),  and my car went screeching past the pond, towards the bible building.  I'm so glad I didn't hit a pedestrian.  I'm also glad the bee didn't sting me.






Bee jerk.





Beef jerky.





mmm.




food.  delicious.  savory.  unhealthy food.





NO NO NO NO NO NO NO




I better go and distract myself from food.  I'm going to work out again before I crash.  I did 30 minutes of Free Step on the Wii (2,988 steps!!!) while I talked to James about Grad School Visiting plans!  More on that later.




Love to you all for reading my blog!





P.S.- I'm going to try and have my Senior Recital towards the end of February!  I'll keep you all posted.  It's sure to be the big failure event of 2010!!!

Waiting on the Weight to Change

Hello everyone!  I apologize for the absence this week.  It was definitely one of those weeks.  I have been battling this upper-respiratory thing since last Friday- still having painful coughing.  All of that has really exhausted me and school is of course, full of shenanigans.

Thank goodness for James.  He knows me.  He gets me.  He (smartly) took me to the Zoo today- just what I needed.  We saw all of the best animals and I was so happy to get away from the stress of homework and things like that.

Since my beginning weight (last Thursday), I've lost 8 pounds.  This is excellent, as the clinic told me to expect to lose 1/2 a pound to 1 pound a day.  I've cheated my diet a couple of times but I've also had a lot of success (obviously).  I've gotten back into some exercise routine with the Wii Fit.  This is feeling really good to me, because I need the exercise to feel good and healthy and right with the world.

I'm trying to be patient with the weight loss.  One of the tricks for me is staying committed.  I can commit.  I can commit.  I can commit.  I can commit.  I can commit...  Anyone can lose a measly 8 pounds.  Losing ten 8s is the trick.

I'm trying to keep up in school.  It's proving very difficult.  I have a really hard time "jumping through the hoops" I'm given.  I know that I HAVE to have Biology and Philosophy to graduate.  It's just that I don't care.  I'm going to graduate school.  I am going to learn about my profession- music.  Every class will be specialized- Opera History, Advanced French Diction, German Lieder...  These are the kind of classes I need to be in!  Soon enough...

I'm trying to get in at least a couple hours of practicing every day.  I have this thing called a Senior Recital coming up- no big...  I'm working on the Revolutionary Etude, Rhapsody in Blue, a Mozart Sonata and some other stuff.  It's really very daunting.  It's still not as hard as losing weight or putting effort into general education courses as a married, 5th year undergrad.

Now, I'm going to demand some feedback here.  Remember my challenge?  Have you all succeeded in giving something up?  Comment what it was or what it's going to be this time!  Some suggestions: cokes, fast food, eating late at night...